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In a superlative beginning to Gorgo1's managerial career, the blues now sit proudly at the foot of the table, having lost 5 of their last 6 games.

On the field, the patched-up side is sorely lacking quality personnel in nearly all areas, whilst off the field, rumours concerning a grubby woodland tryst with a well-known local badger have dogged star striker Archibald Bottiger.

Pictured leaving an exclusive wood in the early hours of Friday night, Bottiger appeared to be accompanied by a provocatively dressed badger that he bundled into the back seat of his Ford Ka.

Club officials were unavailable to comment, but fans have taken to calling Bottiger a "badger botherer" and mocking him openly from the stands, with some even throwing mashed potato at the beleagured player in homage to the popular children's TV show "Bodger & Badger". In turn, the folorn-looking German seems deeply off-the-pace.

Will the blues' very own Fur-Nando Torres turn it around? Or is he too "set" in his ways?

Time will tell - these things are never black and white.

This is Elton Flange, signing out.