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SOMEWHERE IN THE HILLS OF OHIO - Ohio United and Coach V8birdman96 held a press conference today to shed some light on recent struggles in cup and league competitions.

Ohio United began season 10 under high expectations, once again paired with the "immovable" force known to them as The Three Wise Men this time in division 3 of Discus. Among plans for this season were to build up finances, and possibly a focus on the youths progressing through the system.

Now 7 games into the season, MASSIVE CLUB are neck and neck with TTWM atop the d.3 table. Management has slowed the poor financial state of the club, so the floodgates have been closed temporarily. Some high profile sellings have fallen through, and the disappointment of tournament results still haunts OU and its manager v8birdman96.

Despite taking 21 points from 7 matches, Ohio United and its staff are worried about the direction of the club. Recent results from the DLC and league have had fans on the edge of their seats. When asked about the latest result Birdman refused comment, but proceeded to point out what the team would be working on in future fixtures, "We're going to focus a lot more on our possession. Being in Crumbs Cup this season, many of the clubs have dominated us on possessing the ball. If we don't have the [stupid] ball, we'll never [really] score. That was almost the case with Ballyheane as well, but we got the result we wanted."

Birdman was referring to the horrible showing that the club has put forth in the Crumbs Cup as they have taken 3 pts from 9 games, and have been dominated by top squads from Alianza Lima to RF Textá Mwanza. Their only win coming from a 20 July match against Charlton Athletic, where possession was again the issue.

One disgruntled fan after the League Cup match was quoted by saying, "If Baekgaard and Hackworth could learn to play together, we could rule the world!" When told of the quote, Birdman smiled as said, "If only it were so easy."
- H. J. Earl