The boys in blue finished the season in a storming fashion, after an initially grim start. A season of transition and consolidation, as predicted by charismatic, sexy and intelligent manager Gorgo1, was completed in fine style, with only 1 loss in the final 10 games boosting the side to a respectable 10th.
A star-studded festival of celebration followed at the Town Hall, with the entire first team squad joined by such luminaries as Emu (minus Rod Hull), friend of the club Gaz Topp, Larry Hagman and Terry ***an. Adding glamour was Jeanette Krankee and Sue Barker.
With everyone seated and having dined on a fantastic buffet-style lunch of cheese sandwiches and Tizer, the inaugural Etherton End of Season Awards Show began....
The award for the most spirited performance by a limited player was picked up by Ron Lyall. The chunky old man defender joined for peanuts early in the season as established first teamers and useless reserves were shed from the ranks. He has surpassed all expectations by being marginally less rubbish than anyone expected, culminating in securing a first team place by the end of the season.
Young Player of the Season
Tough competition here, but this has been scooped by record signing Conn Hayward. The gap-toothed Irishman is just 17, but comfortable on either wing, and has started to stake a claim for a permanent place with some scintillating performances, largely culminating in falling over.
Brian Piercy just edged this, having improved a fantastic 8 levels in the space of an entire season. Yeah, it's nothing special but my coaches are two out-of-work hairdressers from Wrexham.
Youth Academy Award
This goes to Clapham Grant, which sounds like something the lottery might give to the residents of a London borough to tidy up after those naughty rioters. The 15yo looks a good prospect, having scored an unknown number of goals in an unknown number of matches for the Academy side.
Player of the Season
This was pretty close-run in the end, but there's no way the judges (Emu, ***an and Topp) could look past the Corinthian sporting figure of Tom Crouch, club captain and fan favourite. He was presented with a golden Ipod (16GB) in recognition of his contribution this season, which included a brilliant 8 yellow cards.
Much merriment ensued. This is Elton Flange, blues correspondent for the Liverpool Gekko signing out.