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After the Gaz Topp and badger controversies of the last few weeks, Etherton manager Gorgo1 was hoping for a quieter life in the club hotseat.

As it turns out, nothing of the sort has been forthcoming. Fans have barricaded him into his portacabin after a just one win in 11 games, culminating in being dumped out of the cup on penalties by lower league opposition last night.

Police have been called to monitor the protest, but with many of them also Etherton fans, they've simply joined in, hurling rocks and twigs at the makeshift office of the embattled blues supremo.

In an act of supreme foresight, the first piece of work undertaken in his reign as manager was to reinforce the temporary offices at Dean Park, fitting industrial grills over the windows. Gorgo1 was glimpsed smugly facing the fury of the crowd, nursing a cup of Bovril in his fortress as the bricks rained down. Reports are coming in that Gorgo1 sympathisers have been spotted launching sandwiches through a skylight from the top of a nearby van.

The standoff shows no signs of abating.
This reporter was able to catch a quick telephone chat with the elusive Gorgo1 this morning - here's a transcript:

EF: "How do you respond to allegations that you have been found severely wanting in the tactical department?"

G1: "I don't respond to nameless allegations. I'd very much like to know who the alligators are before I make any comment, as they've said nothing to my face."

EF: "Do you feel sorry for the fans? They surely deserve better?"

G1: "No I don't. They're largely hateful proles and I'd be much happier if they stayed away if this is their attitude."

EF: "How long will they have to wait until this is sorted out?"

G1: "As long as I want them to. Basically, I might lose some more games on purpose just to annoy them. So if and when we lose more games, it's because I wanted to, rather than because I'm a rubbish manager. It depends how I feel. Now if you'll excuse me, I need the toilet, and thanks to this protest I've got to use the wastepaper bin."

Stay tuned for further updates of this extraordinary turn of events.
This is Elton Flange, signing out - stay classy, Bootle.